There Is No Failure, Just Success Opportunities
Just like the butterflies in this beautiful picture above, we have a journey into who we are becoming and we don’t stop this journey of becoming until the day we die. It is a continuous process of learning and growth, but only if we open up the space to invite that slow transformation into our lives. So many times we are solely focused on our goals and we lose sight of who we are becoming in the process. We lose sight of the character of the person that our higher selves want to be and we sacrifice who we are for a short term outcome. When we only focus on outcome or result, we think very little about the “how” that we use to get the outcome. Meaning, how we are speaking to others, how we are acting or how we are being. This is why many managers are known for getting results but the environment that they create is demoralizing, and you see dead bodies (figuratively!) along the way. What I have learned is that the way we treat others is a reflection of how we treat ourselves. If you are perfectionistic and impatient with others, chances are your own patience towards yourself is also lacking. This perfectionism and impatience directed inward is a sign of deep insecurities, because as I wrote in a previous article our self-worth isn’t determined by what we produce. We are worth more than what we do, thus the challenge is to work on having high standards, striving for excellence yet letting go of perfectionism. When we are caught up in a perfectionism spiral, it is usually a sign that we are deeply afraid of failing.
The fear of failure is a huge barrier especially for people who are high performing and used to being successful. They end up not knowing how to deal with failure when they experience it because they are not used to it and may end up spiraling. Additionally, people who are used to playing it safe and not taking the risk required to grow also end up not knowing how to deal with failure because they have never challenged themselves to really go for their big “outside the box dreams”, and they never really fail. As Denzel Washington’s famous quote says, “If you don’t fail, you’re not even trying.”
What have you not tried? What has not trying, cost you? Is the cost bigger than the temporary pain you will feel from the pain of potentially failing?
The best way to be resilient from failure is to view it as a learning opportunity that will bring you one step closer to the success that you hope for. If you realize that failure isn’t final, then you will realize that there was no failure at all. There is always another opportunity to try again. Failure could be your breakthrough to success. The more you fail is the more you learn and the more you learn is the more you earn as the saying goes. For more on how to be resilient in the face of failure, read this article. In order to help me view failure as a learning opportunity, I have found the work of Dr. Carol Dweck, professor of psychology and mindset expert very insightful. She created the concept of growth mindset vs. fixed mindset. A fixed mindset is the belief that one’s intelligence, creativity, and abilities are inherently fixed and unchanging, i.e. you have no control over them. The growth mindset on the other hand suggests a belief that these abilities and talents can be improved and developed, all within your control. You can see how a growth mindset is a more empowering way of viewing setbacks or challenges because if you your intelligence is fixed and you don’t have the ability to learn or grow, then essentially you are not agile enough to try anything new. Your options are infinitely limited.
On the other hand, if you subscribe to a growth mindset you will learn how to learn from failure because you know that if you tweak your approach, and just keep going, eventually you will get to a place of success. You will persevere through obstacles, while focusing on understanding how to work through the challenges no matter how long it takes.
I want you to join me in making 2019 our year for learning and growth with a bias towards action. This means we don’t sit in analysis paralysis, we take action, fail fast, and utilize the lessons from the failure to inform the improvement action we need to take to explode to the next level! This explosion will bring out the beautiful butterfly within, who you are becoming.
What’s one bold action that you have been scared to take action on, that you are committed to acting on this week? Start with something small and get momentum to the bigger things. How you start the year is how you will end the year. If you are committed to making 2019 a pivotal year in your life, no matter what, I challenge you to step up and make a move in the area of your choice, this week!!
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